#snk positivity week

[jean-vi]

Lie To Me | Levi x Reader

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader Inspiration:  “Chizu ni nai basho e yume wo hasete / Shiharau no wa Risiko der Freiheit” - Jiyuu No Daishou by Linked Horizon Summary: Facing the female titan, you find yourself in a sticky position. Genre: Angst, Fluff (?) Warnings: Major Character Injury, Spoilers for Season 1 of SNK, Most events that occur in this work do not actually occur in the season, but the context is a spoiler. WC: 4.3K A/N: I have been writing fanfic on here for a while under @tae-cup but this is my first AOT Fic. I hope it reads well :) Other: Masterlist

Part 2

    You didn’t think you’d ever get used to riding horses for hours at a time. You understood, fundamentally, that they kept you alive when you were outside the walls, but at the same time, you really did not enjoy the constant jolting. It was truly a beautiful day to be outside, no doubt about it, but maybe this was…a little too outside for comfort. The walls had been your home for many years until you joined the Scout regiment. To be completely honest, it had been a bit of a rash choice, a sort of rebellion against the Military Police that terrorized your family. 

    Your hands gripped the reins with uncertainty. The first time you’d left the walls, all those years ago, you’d been excited. The world felt fresh and new. Now the sky felt like a rotten apple and the people were all the same: excited or nervous recruits and down-trodden experienced soldiers alike. One person caught your eye though. 

    You looked up from the reins to view the people in front of you. Squad Levi. You were a relatively new addition. You were the newest member until the nuisance known as Eren Jaeger joined. It wasn’t that he was particularly annoying, although sometimes his shouting and monologues about freedom did grate on your ears, it was more that he injured himself a lot. You understood the basic fundamentals of his abilities, like being able to heal considerably quicker than a normal human, and regrowing whole limbs wasn’t out of the question either. Being the designated medic, not by choice, you had made a name for yourself by chasing after any squad members who had the slightest ailment. Eren Jaeger? Well, he had lots of them, and it was considerably more draining. 

    The others had laughed and thanked Eren for keeping you off their backs. That was only a few weeks ago. Now, here you were. There was always a grimness to the air on these missions. The usually lively squad was dead silent. The beating hooves of the horses pierced the air. It was too quiet, too calm. 

    Your eyes roved from person to person. You were taking the rear with Eren in front of you. He was just a kid, but he had the stare of someone much older. Next was Petra. She was always a good friend to you. Her smiles and determination brought light into this serious squad. You finally rested your eyes on Captain Levi. 

    At this moment in time, you were having trouble remembering why you were chosen for this team. Still, he had trust in you and so you would have faith in him in return. It was a mutual sort of arrangement. Going into the Scout regiment, you had known some basic first aid. It was a skill taught by your mother. After hearing about your unwavering interest in the Scout Regiment, she had insisted on teaching you the basics. 

    “You can’t stop me.” You hissed. 

    “I know.” Your mother sagged in defeat. “I know you have this–this anger deep inside. I just don’t want you to go into this mess unprepared.” She took your hand and held it firmly. “Let me teach you what I know. I may only be a midwife and I may not be of use to you, but I want you to be of use to others.” 

    You sat down at the dining table and waited as she fetched her bag of tools. 

“And another thing, sweetie,” she whispered as she drew out the needle and thread, “make yourself important, irreplaceable.” 

    A red flare went off, somewhere to your right. A return green flare to your left. 

    “Captain.” Eld called out and the Captain glanced at the flares. 

    “Petra, fire the flare.” He said simply. 

    “Yes, Captain!” The woman responded quickly and sent off the green flare. 

    Well, things were getting interesting. There was already a titan so close. It was a little unnerving. You’d seen scouting missions fall apart before and you really did want this to be the exception. Defeat after defeat. The wounds dragged on. Another set of hoofs joined the marching beat. 

    “Captain Levi, a message!” The new girl shouted as she sidled up to the right of your squad. You observed her carefully. She seemed shaken, but not harmed. The girl was sweating and her hands were gripping the reins too hard to be considered relaxed. 

    “Report.” The Captain commanded. 

    “The right side scouting squads have been decimated! There are huge casualties!” The girl cried. 

    Levi seemed to think for a moment before nodding in the direction of Petra. 

    “Petra, pass on the message.” He commanded. “And thank you for the report.” He addressed the girl who nodded and fell back, racing towards the right. You saw it now; flares screeching into the sky, puffing black smoke. 

    “An abnormal this far in?” You wondered aloud and you had been with the team long enough to see the tell-tale signs of distress. Still, Levi remained a statue-like figure. His head barely turned in the direction of the flares. 

    “The formation has fallen apart. We have no choice but to divert to a more advantageous position.” Levi responded after a short pause. You then sense the shake of the new recruit ahead.

    You considered yourself pretty straight-laced and a person who was rather blunt. However, you didn’t exactly lack human compassion, which you speculated that the Captain in front did. It wasn’t that he didn’t care for human life, it was evident that he did based on his role in the regiment, but he didn’t react much to anything. This stone cold expression of his definitely paid off when you asked for his help in the medical ward. 

    “Hey.” You pulled up next to Eren. His face was downcast and his eyebrows were sinched together. “We’ll find your friends.” 

    It was a promise that was more than likely false. You had wanted to say that they would be alright, but that was certainly a lie. Eren’s expression was that of a boy who was already imagining his friends dead. You didn’t want to see those thoughts come to fruition, they were children after all, but this world was cruel in the worst ways. 

    “I told you to stop saying things like that.” Levi spoke and there was something in his vocal fry that made your heart quicken. 

    “I know, but remember what I said?” 

    The man thought for a moment and then dipped his head. “Continue.” 

    A few weeks earlier

    Levi had always been a good steady hand and a calming presence. It was probably what first drew you to asking him to assist you after missions. You felt a little guilty asking an already exhausted man to continue to work, but he had agreed. He was rather apathetic but he worked diligently. 

    “You told that man that he would be okay.” Levi seemed perplexed, truly, as he looked towards the corpse on the ground. “You shouldn’t lie to the dying, so why?”

    “I don’t know.” Was your first response. It was something you seemed to say often with the man, but this time you took a moment to ponder his question fully. “I guess when a person is forced to deal with death and the inevitable pain, they need to be told lies to keep themselves sane.” Then you took a deep breath. “In less metaphorical terms, in order to keep them on our side until the end, they need to feel secure.”

    Your hands were shaky after long missions or stressful days with lots of patients. The day was just winding down now and it was another heartbreaking loss. Less and less soldiers seemed to come back alive and intact lately. It was mentally and physically draining to care for the wounded, but for some reason, Levi kept coming back. He would hand you the needle and thread and when your eyelids began to droop, he’d finish the job for you. It wasn’t in any gentle or particularly caring way. He’d take the needle and thread, as if commanding you to sleep. But you never could sleep. You’d drift in and out of consciousness sitting on the ground nearby. Tonight was one of those nights. 

    “Get some sleep.” He said quietly as he finished and fixed your rough stitching job. It had been hurried because the soldier was bleeding quickly. Now, the table was covered in blood and you couldn’t stand looking at his disfigured body any longer. You’d saved his life, but he’d never walk again. 

    “I can’t sleep on nights like these.” You responded gruffly. You were stubborn and Levi shared this trait. 

    “I know that, but you need to be able to properly treat people tomorrow. They need your best mind.” 

    You paused and then frowned, shutting your eyes in thought. “So you save the lives of humanity by getting four hours of sleep, right?” 

    “I am here to save myself and only myself. I can get by on four hours. You, on the other hand, are stupidly trying to save the lives of all these dying soldiers. It is a pursuit that will lead you nowhere.” He snipped the thread and set his hands down on the table with a heavy sigh. You ignored his scorn for your current occupation and decided to rest your head against the cold stone.  

    “You say you’re only here to save yourself, and yet you have so little regard for your own life?” You said softly, on your way to dreamland. You heard the soft fabric of his clothes rustle and you felt his gaze slip to your face. The glance was fleeting and warm, but he remained focused on the task at hand.

    “There are some people I can not bring back. I should have died with them years ago, and although they want me to lay them to rest, I will continue to cruelly live on in their name. It is purely selfish.” He responded. 

    You thought on his words for a moment. Levi seemed the opposite of selfish to you. 

    “Some would call that selfless.” You shrugged before the night took you away.

    “My friends.” He was muttering to himself. 

    “Eren.” You tilted your head down to look him in the eyes. “Don’t worry. We will find them.” You’d probably be finding their bodies and even that would be a miracle. With how close the titan had reached, you doubted a bunch of recruits would be able to stand a chance. “And if they’re injured, you know I’ll fix them right up.” You assured further. 

    The boy looked away and you took that as your cue to fall back. Still, even if he didn’t fully believe your lie either, it was something to convince himself of. Captain Levi spared you a glance. You went back to dreaming. You day dreamed about what your life could have been like. You imagined a world where titans no longer terrorized humanity. Would you have still chosen the path of medicine if it weren’t needed for your survival? Would you have…fallen in love? Maybe a doctor or a nurse you worked with? Maybe a stranger you’d met at the market? What did all this daydreaming do you anyway. It wasn’t going to change the situation. 

    “Captain, I hear something.” Oluo shouted. 

    Levi looked behind him and, of course, everyone else followed suit. There was a thud, but it was faint and seemed so far away. In the distance, behind, was a tiny dot. It was moving at an alarming rate, though. 

    “Is that–” You started.

    “ –the abnormal?” Petra finished as you both stared in horror. 

     The Captain gave away nothing. 

    “We continue riding forward.” He insisted and you usually trusted the man but this was absurd. The forest was out of the way and more of a barrier than anything else. It just made no sense. Then it hit you. The useless ODM gear currently strapped to you would become a lethal weapon in the forest. 

    “Understood.” You replied, but you truly did understand this time. 

    “Captain! We could have saved them!” Eren screamed as the soldiers zipping through the trees were swatted out of the sky. This titan really was terrifying. You’d never seen one that looked like it before. Despite being at the back of the formation, you remained vigilant in looking straight ahead. You probably trusted a self-appointed “selfish” man far too much. 

    Eren’s exclamations were becoming more desperate. 

    “There’s another dead.” The boy cried and it did tug at the heart strings. 

    “Eren,” You began, “I work with the dead all day, every day.” You felt the listening ears of your teammates, even Levi, especially Levi. “I know their deaths were violent, but they were quick.” You continued and you heard another crunch. God, you were really sick of people dying. You could feel your eyes wetting as the slaughter continued behind you, but you refused to let tears fall. With a steely determination, you stared straight ahead. “It is much better than suffering a slow, painful, death later on a table in a strange room.” 

    “I agree.” Levi added and your eyes fell on the back of his head. He was so calm and reserved in a time where even Eld was nervous. “Cover your ears.” 

    You had just enough time to register his words and mindlessly react. 

    Bang!

    For some reason, you saw him watching you as the world exploded in light. 

    “Did we really capture it?” You asked, waiting for anyone to answer. 

     “It would appear that way.” Petra murmured. 

    “You guys leave, switch to ODM gear.” Levi instructed. “Get Eren to HQ as fast as possible.” 

    “Yes, Sir!” You all replied in unison. You unstrapped the small medical bag from your horse and wrapped it around your shoulders. 

    The Captain disappeared from sight. You switched to your ODM gear, flying from tree to tree. Everything was moving so quickly and the green of the forest hid most of the sunlight. However, a movement caught your eye. 

    “The traitor.” You heard Eren hiss. That’s when you saw them. The Scout Regiment logo felt wrong to be displayed on a traitor to humanity. 

    “Move! Move! They’re closing in!” Eld shouted and you began to weave through the trees. 

     “Gunther!” Petra screamed and you knew. You knew what happened. Fuck. You didn’t want to see the body of a person you just saw yesterday, but you needed to. You looked back and you acknowledged him. He hung lifelessly, swinging like a pendulum. 

     “Go! Go! Go!” Eld continued and you followed. It wasn’t your business for heroics. 

     Then, a flash of yellow light, like lightning striking. You couldn’t hold back a surprised scream now. Shielding your eyes, you felt your hair sizzle and the air pop. Then, like something out of your worst nightmares, the titan was there. She was fast and agile. Her movements were unlike any other titan you’d seen or killed, but you supposed this was unlike any other mission you’d been on. 

     “I’ll kill her, once and for all.” Eren screamed to Eld as he raised his hand to his mouth. 

    “Stop!” Your eyes widened and you felt breathless. “Please, just let us handle it. We’re the best, after all.” You tried to reason with him. 

     “Trust us.” Petra nodded. 

    Eren looked from you to your squad to the titan. The titan was closing in and you didn’t have much time left. 

    “Trust us.” You pleaded. If Eren transformed, it put so much at risk. You couldn’t risk him getting taken. 

    “Okay.” He finally said and you all breathed a collective sigh of relief. He turned and zipped ahead. “I trust you.”

    You watched his figure fading into the distance as you and the others began your assault. Eld moved in to distract. The wind was rushing in your ears as you positioned yourself on a tree. You didn’t have quite the kill count as the others, but you understood the basics. Petra and Oluo sliced into the titan’s eyes, causing the monster to stumble back into the tree. 

    “It’s protecting its nape!” You shouted and you flew in to join the fray. You hooked onto its ligaments and began slicing. The tendons in the arms were gone and the shield on her nape dropped. You hesitated to celebrate as the others looked on in victory. They wanted the killing blow. 

    After seeing and hearing the cries of all those soldiers she’d killed, you wanted to slaughter her too. You could feel their pain fueling you to push on, even as your gut began to sink. It was just too easy. 

    “Strike the neck, now!” Eld yelled his war cry and you hooked onto her nape to join him. The female titan lunged. You pulled back with a scream, but Eld was already bit in two. Blood began to stain the grass. No. 

    “Eld!” You screeched. You watched as his body fell. No medical miracle could bring that back to life. You frantically turned to the others. “We need to regroup!” 

    “It’s–It’s impossible.” Petra was muttering as she flew away from the titan. “It’s only been 30 seconds or so. That’s just not–” 

    “Petra!” Oluo warned, but it was too late. Blood splattered on a tree. 

    “No, no, no.” You whispered as you retreated. 

    “I’ll kill you.” Oluo went in for the exposed nape. Your eyes widened. 

    “Wait! Stop!” You shouted, but it didn’t matter. You’d never seen a human kicked that hard or that far, but Oluo was gone on impact, you knew that from the sickening crunch. There was no way. All of squad Levi? Gone? 

    You landed on the grass. You felt numb as you stared into the face of the titan. Falling to your knees, you looked up to the sky, past where her form blocked the sun. Maybe, in this giant forest, it wouldn’t be such a bad place to die. You’d be with your comrades. You dropped your medical bag and accepted this fate. The female titan stared down at you and then her hand was wrapped around your body. Her grip was so tight, you felt your bones cracking like sticks and now you screamed in agony. 

    “You killed them!” You were a mess. Tears were running down your face and now you couldn’t breathe. You came face to face with the female titan. Her hair covered her blind eye. 

    A blinding light and Eren had abandoned the plan. You felt the pressure on your body ease up and then suddenly, you were falling. You had no time to grapple to any trees. You just plummeted to the ground. 

     The air left your lungs and every breath, every movement, every shake of the ground, hurt. On a scale of 1 to 10? This was a 10. The two titans were fighting and their rumbling moved farther away. You almost wanted to thank Eren. Now, you’d be able to die in peace. 

    Captain Levi. 

    The whole squad was wiped out in one go. You didn’t have it in you to sit up, so you lay with your back tucked between the grasses. It wasn’t long after the explosion of light that you noticed a familiar figure flying through the trees. 

    Levi had come to a stop above Petra’s body. You were in blinding pain, but you needed to get his attention before he left. 

    “Captain.” You choked out, but for some reason, he heard you. He turned to you and jumped down from the tree. His feet landed softly next to you and he didn’t hesitate to kneel beside your body. His rough, but nimble, hands circled yours. The Captain could have said any number of things, but chose these:

    “Do you want to be saved?” It was simple. He was giving you the option to die peacefully with your comrades or be saved. You usually couldn’t read Captain Levi very well, but when you looked at his face, finally, you were taken aback. 

    Anger. His mouth, set in an ever-present line, was now tilted into a frown. His eyebrows were pushed together ever so slightly and his eyelids dropped into a killer gaze. You had wondered at his emotional capacity for years now, but with this single gaze, you understood him. You understood how he needed to protect himself from the death that surrounded him. You refused to be another comrade that he’d be haunted by at night. Looking at the sky, you realized you had a long life ahead of you. Now was not your time to die. 

    You had your answer, and it was for, just as he said, purely selfish reasons. You couldn’t muster the energy to move or speak, but your eyes slid over to your fallen medical bag. And now Levi had his answer too. You wanted to say you saw him breathe a sigh of relief, but it was probably an illusion. 

    “Don’t worry, you’ll be okay.” He parroted your blissful lie as he grabbed the bandages from the bag.

    You found the nerve to speak with that comment. “Maybe you were right. Lies don’t help the dying much. We know it’s over.” 

    “You are not ‘the dying.’” He bit back with a deadly tone. You didn’t flinch. Instead, you wanted to laugh. He finished the wrapping and sat back. “I don’t know what else to do.” He finally admitted. 

    Your gaze moved to the treetops. Everything was fading and going in and out of darkness. 

    “Nothing else you can do.” You mustered. “I’m probably bleeding internally. I’ll die before leaving this forest.” 

    “You will not.” The man said quietly and when he stood, he stared down at you with an incredulous expression. “Why do you accept your death so easily? You will survive and you will live until you are old. Do you hear me, idiot?” 

    You smiled as your eyes slid closed. “I hear you, Captain.” 

    A Few Days Later

    The last remaining member of Squad Levi. You lifted your hand gingerly and stared at the wrappings. They were clean, fresh. That must be good. You watched the dust particles filtering through the sunlight streaming in. A roof. That was a good sign. You were in a bed. Also a good sign.

    “Don’t move.” A harsh voice commanded, but your lips pulled into an easy smile. 

    “Captain, I wasn’t aware you cared so much.” 

    “Do you know how hard it is to deal with all those injured scouts when you get yourself injured?” Levi was sitting in an armchair in the corner of the room. His legs were stretched out lazily as he reclined, one hand nursing a steaming teacup. “Don’t do it again.” He took a sip. 

    “Yes, sir.” You grumbled and dropped your hand. The man got up and moved to the side of the bed, where you could see him better. 

    “We are now the only members of the Special Operations team.” 

     You tilted your head back and stared at the wooden beams. What were their last thoughts? Last sight? Probably the forest floor and trees the size of castles. That forest was littered with bodies now. It felt like a terrible nightmare. 

     “I am hardly special enough for any ‘Special Operations.’” You countered. “Why do you even want me on the team?” 

    He gave you a blank stare, which was a common occurrence. “Because you were on it before and you’re alive and breathing.” Levi reasoned. 

    “I think I should switch to being a medical helper instead, full time.” 

    “Why are you arguing with me, idiot?” He frowned. “You are a part of Squad Levi still and you always will be. That’s how it works here.” 

    “I could just get myself thrown out.” You chuckled. 

    “And I’d just argue that you stay, like last time.” 

    The conversation fell silent. Then you shifted to look out the window. “I care for this team, a lot, but there is no team left.” You sighed. “I guess that only leaves me to care for you, Captain.” 

    You heard his footsteps and he was now in front of the window, just staring at you. His usually intimidating gaze was gone. 

    “I wouldn’t have saved you if I didn’t care either.” He stated simply and leaned against the window sill. The light fell so perfectly on his face, highlighting the curve of his mouth, the sharpness of his eyes. 

    “I would have saved you, too.” You added. 

    “You would save everyone if you could.”

    “And you wouldn’t?” 

    “I save people I think I can save.” He shrugged. His grip tightened on the edge of the window. “I don’t know why I saved you. I was sure you were going to die, and maybe I should have let you.” 

    You pressed your lips together. “I’m still glad you lied to me. I will be truthful in saying that I asked you to save me for purely selfish reasons.” 

    “I guess we have that in common.” The Captain crossed his arms. Your eyes widened and he tilted his head. “Did I say something amiss?” 

    “No I–” You stopped yourself. “I just didn’t realize you cared.” 

    “If I didn’t care, why would I spend all those nights with you, fixing up the worst injuries I’ve seen?” 

    “Because you care about…human life?” 

    “Because I care about you, idiot.” He said roughly and moved to your bedside. The man took your hand in his and it was eerily reminiscent of the forest. You could almost smell the dirt. 

    “Maybe I care about you too.” You finally said and he dropped your hand. His face fell back into its usual stone-cold expression. His only acknowledgement was a dip in his head.

    “Get some rest.” He said bluntly and headed for the door.

    “You as well, Captain.” 

    He let his hand brush against the door frame for a moment and then left. A fleeting ghost. A vision. You wished you could hold onto his hand for a just a bit longer. It was nice to be in good company. 

To be continued...?

[le-panda-chocovore]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "le-panda-chocovore "?

Oh I think I can actually answer that without rambling too much !! (<- took an entire week to answer the ask and select the fics, and I commented on each one of them lol) It won't be a Top in order of preference tho, there's no actual classment, it's just the ones I loved the most.

The Way I Behaved - EraserMic (MHA)

This fanfic gave me the inspiration to write my greatest work (still unfinished to this day) and literally changed so many things about me. It also made me discover a whole genre of music that I've never listened to before and with which I am entirely in love now. Prepare to cry tho, because this is deeply heartbreaking. It's a Villain Mic AU where Aizawa was never a teacher. And it is good.

What if Percy did become a God - Percy Jackson and the Olympians (based on the books !!! do not read if you just watched the show !!!)

The title says everything. This is not a happy story, you will cry, I promise. It's short, like a 1k word OS, it's really poetic, it's deep, it's beautiful, and also, it's painful. Humans were never meant to be gods, not even Percy. It's written like a poem, I read it so many times and it hurt me every time.

Demon and Angel Professors - Ineffable Spouses (Good Omens)

Not a fanfiction but a serie of short works about Crowley and Aziraphale and the people around them. A teachers AU very nice to read with many Original Characters (the students) who are all captivating and appreciable. The story is extremely queer-positive and neurodivergent inclusive and physical handicap representative, honestly, you want to read it. There's everything inside it. If you have chronic pain or if you're a closeted queer or even a curious ally who wants to understand their peers, this is what you need. The love is so pure it's overwhelming.

Honor and Vengeance on the High Sea - Zuko (ATLA)

Tbh this deserves to be published, it's a novel itself (I haven't finished it yet). The author reappropriated the Avatar universe to write something completely new. It's an AU where Zuko becomes a Pirate after his banishment and fights against the Fire Nation Navy, and eventually joins the Avatar's team. There's a whole work around internalized homophobia, the discovery of the self, acceptance, injustice, family trauma and everything. Original Characters are cool too. Chapters are long and very, very complete, you can see the author has historical and cultural knowledge.

Strength, the meaning of - Asano Gakuhou (Assassination Classroom)

I can't believe a fanfic about this total asshole made it to my top 10, but it is beautifully written. The progressive mental breakdown of a man who used to stand proud above everyone, the slow fall down to hell without even realizing it. There's also his son's POV here, which is equally beautifully written. I really hate the man and I don't like the fact that the end of AssClass completely disregard the consequences of what happened on the character's mental state, and reading how even him wasn't okay at all is very pleasant to read. That's karma my bitch.

Je suis assis - BokuAka (Haikyuu)

Yeah it's in french and on wattpad. It has been a while since I read it but I still remember the principal. It's a OS anyway so it's not very long (we didn't do that 20k words OS on Wattpad, this madness is only popular on AO3 lol). Since I'm sensitive to everything that is around handicap, it touched me. It ended up being cute and warm. Honestly I was more thinking of another BokuAka fanfiction but I couldn't remember the name nor found it online so I put this one.

25 - Riren (SnK)

Yeah yeah I know, pedo ship etc, but I was 14 and this is a High School AU where they're both 16 so, it's okay I guess. Yes the name of the fanfic is twenty-five. It's in french, it's on wattpad, and there's Eren's POV too. I don't know how I'm supposed to describe it... I think you have to read it, it's not actually strange or weird but, it's a whole experience.

Here there be dragons - Centennial Husbands (the Sandman)

This is the exact definition of love. What is love to me ? This fanfiction. Engagement, devotion, caring, this is it, this fanfic has the meaning of all these words. I had a hard time reading it because I hate ultra-long OS (I need CHAPTERS, give me a BREAK) but it was soooo enjoyable, and I was crying the whole time 'cause it's so pure and beautiful.

Palm to Palm - KaRen (Assassination Classroom)

Yes I am a part of the extremely tiny fandom that ships Karma and Ren (I do ship Karma with multiple people throughout the manga lmao) but only in THIS specific context. And this is beautifully written, I can't stop re-reading it. Also, the name of the ship makes me laugh. Karma and Ren relationship after losing Gakushuu -the boy they both love above everything else- is peak romance.

Le goût du chocolat - L x Light (Death Note)

I honestly don't remember a thing about this fanfiction except a single sentence, but I do know that I totally fell in love with it. It was one of my fave fanfic when I was full active on Wattpad, and I even archived it because I didn't want to lose it. I should read it again now that I found it again.

Alright that's 10 !!! Finally !!

Oh it was so fun to fall back into all the things I read before ! But it was harder than I expected because, well, I only have AO3 for 3 years and I've been on Wattpad for 7 years, but I started reading fanfiction even before that, I just didn't have any account back then. So, I kinda forgot about some of the things I read more than 4 years ago, and I couldn't find the gems I discovered when I was 12. Most of the books that made out to this list are my recent lectures, it's a bit biased I guess.

Anyway, thank you for the ask ! It was fun to analyze all my bookmarks and everything !

[poptart-productions]

『 003 | training corps : harsh words 』

[snk series]

previous | series masterlist | next

↳ ❝ [summary] ¡! ❞

as your six weeks of basic training comes to a close , you find yourself building bonds—some growing stronger than you could ever anticipate.

in honor of your “graduation” , your brother pays you a visit in order to offer up his honest advice.

↳ ❝ [content] ¡! ❞

black fem! reader ; first person p.o.v ; damn-near every cadet is featured here ; annoying brother content ; ( slight ) angst ; op reader ; bad german ( y’all , this language has me fighting for my life ) ; last fully ( not really )happy chapter before everyone dies ; this chapter is so long 😭

——————————✩———————————

now playing:

[so ist es immer]-[hiroyuki sawano]

0:00 ❍─────── 3:18

↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺

✧;── 003 ──;✧

AN IMPORTANT DAY WAS COMING.

although–at the time–i could not fully grasp just how important that day would be.

i did know that soon , we’d finally start working with the omnidirectional mobility gear.

i was rather looking forward to it. however , it seemed the closer we got to starting the aptitude tests , the more commander shadis seemed to think that forcing us to clean or spar against each other was very important all of a sudden.

eren was more enthusiastic about completing the training than anyone else , and so–naturally–he had been grumbling about being denied it since breakfast that morning.

although , i shared his frustrations for once.

we had just finished another “unnecessary” sparring match after being out on the fields since dawn , “i think he’s just messing with us.” eren surmised , stretching his tense shoulders.

“by the way ,” he turned to me, “sorry about mikasa.”

“it's not your fault ,” i assured , “i think there’s just been a misunderstanding”

“so , don’t worry about it.” i waved eren off as shadis called us to attention.

i tried my best to pay attention to shadis, but my thoughts were still occupied with my so-called solution.

i soon picked up that we were meant to be sparring once more when i was shoved off in the direction of a cadet named “kirstein”.

he was tall , and his hair was ash blonde–he had an undercut.

his eyes were dark and focused , but they softened when he looked at me.

as we shook hands , his shook violently ; i giggled and pretended to ignore it as kirstein spoke , “. . .so you’re [l/n]. . .?”

i was surprised to hear my real name come from his mouth in such a casual way.

my face grew warm as i smiled up at him , “. . .i am. and , you’re kirstein?” “yes!” it took a few moments for the boy to realize that he had just screamed at me.

the realization was clear on his face , but he remained unmoving ; his stare only grew more intense.

the insecurity was etched into my face as i asked ,“—what is it?” i finally let go of his hand , letting mine fall against my leg.

“you’re very pretty!” startled , i took a step back as he continued , “—it’s just—i’ve never seen a woman that looks like you before. . .”

i blinked , “. . .—thank you.”

he nodded at me , ears red and lips curled upward.

“well,” i try in earnest to wipe the grin forming on my face , settling into a fighting position.

“let’s begin.”

✧;── 🕰️ ──;✧

we’d eventually gotten sent to the mess hall around noon , much to eren’s chagrin.

his complaints were interrupted , though , when ymir made an uncharacteristic stop at our usual table.

“well , aren’t you popular?” she raised her brow at me , to which i glance around me with a smile , “i’m lucky to have these two as my friends.”

eren nudged my shoulder upon hearing my response ; chuckling , ymir shook her head at me , “cute , but that’s not what i was talking about.”

i paused , giving the girl my full attention as she continued.

“i saw kirstein flirting with you during drills.”

before i could even open my mouth , eren damn-near chokes on his food ; to which—of course , ackermann came to his aid.

seconds after his recovery , he snapped at me , “you were flirting with jean?!” “--that’s jean?!”

i slapped a hand over my mouth , realizing how loudly i said that.

that was him? i glanced at jean from across the room , then back at eren—who filled my brain with falsehoods—he was so sweet.

i continued in a hushed tone , “i thought—i thought he was a perfect gentleman!” i assert with a pout

cackling broke the conversation that was previously held by three people ; connie springer—before i knew it , had already sat down across from eren and looked at me.

he eventually stopped laughing , but was still very tickled by what i said ,“he must have a crush on you or something.”

i sighed ,”what is your problem with him?”

eren shook his head at me ,“he was all over mikasa when we first got here ; i wouldn’t trust him if i were you.”

“is that right. . . ?” ymir raised a brow.

now all three of them were staring at me ; i averted my gaze , “we were just talking , you guys.” “right. . .” connie chuckled.

“—so armin!” i quickly changed the subject ,”you think you could help me prepare for the final written exam?”

“between training and infirmary visits , studying sort’ve got away from me.”

“yeah , of course!” as i nodded at him and relaxed my body , relishing in the fact that i’d successfully shifted attention away from me.

eventually , ymir went back to her usual seat—but not springer , because he seemed rather invested in the conversation we were having.

ackermann remained silent beside us—i still have to talk to her , but i can’t bring it up here—as she always was.

“are you still with me?” springer tilts his head at me , and i nod ,”yes—of course! i’m just thinking.”

“you seemed out of it these past couple days.” armin observed , and i could only nod at him.

“well , i guess she has been , huh. . .” eren shrugged ,”she’s as sharp as ever during training.”

snickering , springer adds ,“yeah , you would know that better than anyone.”

i held back a laugh when i recalled the day he was referring to ; eren stammered ,“she—she just caught me off guard—” “—she beat your ass.”

i’ve known eren jaeger long enough to know he cannot take most things in stride.

slamming his hand down on the table , eren stands up , “eren” “eren , calm down”

both ackermann and i grasped at eren’s arms ; the two stopped to stare at me , and i snatched my hand away.

he seemed confused but sat back down , nonetheless.

i placed my hands on the table , pressing my lips together as i glanced at eren—please don’t mention that.

thankfully , i was saved by the bell ; i was the first out on the field that day.

eren was very pleased to find that he was finally standing in front of the simulation rigs.

[b/n] had told me about these ; ‘they lift you up in the air , and you’re meant to distribute your weight evenly throughout your center.’

eventually , the group i was in was up next ; after fastening the harness , i kept my knees apart as i waited for the staffing sergeant to lift me up.

“lift them up.” “yes sir!”

i stared down at my feet as they left the ground with a slow creak behind me.

i straightened my back as i swayed back and forth , looking around at the facilitators as they took their notes.

“we’ve got a lot of natural talent this year , huh?” one sergeant nudged the other beside him as they surveyed our aptitude.

“. . .what about him?” i glanced in the direction she had pointed , only to find that eren had somehow turned completely upside down.

her superior responded with a pitiful smile , “truth is: no matter how hard some people try , they still don’t succeed.”

i frowned as the my surrounding comrades snickered and gossiped ; gaze focused.

eren’s eyes darted around , and i quickly acted as if i didn’t see that.

i hear shadis’s voice , “what the hell are you doing , eren jaeger?!”

eren didn’t respond—his lips trembled as they parted but no words came out.

it wasn’t until shadis walked away that he boy managed to force the words out of his mouth ,

“wie. . .mache ich das. . . ?”

how do i do this?

✧;── 🕰️ ──;✧

as soon as i helped eren out of the harness , he started babbling about how he’d practice before supper—‘i just need more time’ he said.

i only smiled at him and nodded , knowing he’d run himself ragged regardless of what i said.

i returned to the girl’s dorm to shower , and while i knew ackermann was liable to stay back and help eren , i was hoping i’d be able to talk to her alone.

as i was heading into the showers , a fellow cadet was heading out ; she didn’t appear to be paying attention to her surroundings.

i stopped walking to let her pass but she still ended up getting startled ; the black-haired girl began to react , but then stopped herself.

she dropped her hand , mumbling an apology before trying to dash away.

“you’ve got good instincts; you shouldn't second-guess them” i state , “if your gut is telling you to do something, you should do it.”

she stopped , waiting a moment before turning back to me , “. . .what?”

i raised a brow , “you were gonna hit me just now , right?” the girl’s face shifted , as if embarrassed that I even mentioned it in the first place.

she started stammering , “well yes , but i just kinda—“ “—you won’t get a chance to think in a life or death situation.”

she blinked at me , and i looked away , “i’m sorry , that was rude.” i turned back around.

she called after me , urgency laced in her tone , “no , you’re right. . .thank you!”

i nodded at her , continuing on my path toward the showers when she called to me again , “hey—what’s your name?”

i gave my name to her , watching how excited she seemed to get upon hearing it ,

“i thought so! you’re amazing , y’know. . .” i arched an eyebrow , “me?” she nods , feverishly , “yeah you! you and ackermann–you’re so good at everything”

she takes a breath , composing herself as prepared to speak again ,“anyway–it’s nice to meet you! my name is mina carolina.”

i giggled at her , finding her childlike excitement rather refreshing , “nice to meet you , carolina—“ “—call me mina!”

i cleared my throat , correcting myself accordingly , “nice to meet you , mina.” mina then smiled at me , before averting her gaze ,“well , i’ll leave you alone now”

i watched as she skipped off , finding that–to my delight–i could see through my mental fog just a little better now.

after washing up , i entered the mess hall to find eren slumped over the table with a bandage wrapped around his head.

i glanced at armin as i approached , “i take it that practice didn’t go well.” i whispered , sitting down across from him.

he nods at me before glancing over at the defeated brunette , “don’t give up so easily , eren ; you still have until the final exam.”

eren only whined in response ; i giggled . and he shot up to stare at me— but i couldn’t help it ; he was acting like a child.

“what are you laughing at?” “--nothing.” my eyes wandered away from him as i feigned innocence.

eren raised his eyebrows at me , to which i changed the topic of discussion , “eren? i didn’t know you spoke the old tongue?”

“huh?” he blinked , “oh yeah , me and armin grew up speaking it”

he’s so easily distracted.

“do you?” eren leaned toward me , “—speak the language , i mean.”

“nur ein wenig”

just a little

they smiled at me ,“your pronunciation is good—how’d you learn?”

“oh—“ bashfully , i averted my gaze , “my brother taught me.”

eren grinned at me , “not too bad , [l/n]” i nudged his shoulder ,

“thanks , jaeger.”

✧;── 🕰️ ──;✧

when we were dismissed to the dorms , i made sure to follow close behind ackermann as she walked , making sure to bring up my concerns when the people around us thinned out

when it seemed that we were the only ones that were still outside , called to her , “ackermann!” she stopped and glanced over her shoulder at me. “may i speak with you for a moment?” i asked.

ackermann raised a brow , urging me to continue , “it’s about eren and armin. . .?” the young woman stilled completely , her intense eye contact a sign of her undivided attention.

i averted my eyes , “i understand that you three are very close. . .they’re great people—great friends.”

“i know them and i have gotten close over these past few weeks , but i-. . .” i trailed off , realizing i didn’t know where i was going and decided to start over , “--you three will always be childhood friends , and i can’t change that—and i won’t try.”

she remained silent as she bored holes through my skull ; are my words not being understood?

“i’m telling you this because—“ i’m rambling now , “i feel that there’s been tension between us because of my constant insertion into your lives.”

“i’m not trying to take your place , and actually—. . .“ “i’ve been hoping that you and i. . . ?” i fidgeted with my fingers as i tried to choose my words.

“. . .could be friends , too?”

✧;── 🕰️ ──;✧

i felt much better after being able to speak honestly about my feelings , but i didn’t know how ackermann felt about me one way or another.

all i knew was that she seemed to understand.

she understood my thoughts , and she understood my intentions. because of this , she treated me more favorably ; always greeting me with nods and indifferent looks , and she spoke with me more frequently as well.

it was a start , at least.

my contemplation was interrupted when i noticed a familiar blonde amongst the crowd of my comrades “armin!” i jogged up to him.

“hey,” armin greeted.

“where’s eren?” armin chuckled , “trying to get himself motivated.” i smiled at the mental image , “he needs it ; it’s an important day , afterall.”

we continued on our path to the fields in silence for a few minutes , “you seem to be in a better mood” he observed.

nodding , i smiled , “i managed to solve a problem that was bothering me for a while.”

nudging my side , armin smiled back , “i’m glad.”

the two of us eventually fell into a comfortable silence as we walked , the quiet was only broken when a boy cleared his throat behind me.

i turned to find jean , along with an unfamiliar freckled boy , “good morning , you two!” i smiled , “good morning.”

“we haven’t met ; my name is marco bodt.” with a gentle smile , the boy offered his hand for me to shake , to which i awkwardly reached over my shoulder—while walking—to do so.

i open my mouth to introduce myself , “you’re [y/n] [l/n] and armin arlert , right?”

the blonde and i glance at each other, “you know us?” “you’re at the top of our class—of course i know you guys!”

i paused for a moment and averted my gaze , focusing on where i was headed as my face grew warm.

“also , [l/n]. . .” bodt lowered his voice , “i’ve just been hearing a lot about you these past few days.”

jean laughed loudly , “anyway—i just wanted to ask if you were nervous about the final evaluation today?” i shook my head , “no , are you?” i raised a brow at him and he scoffed , “never!”

“jaeger should be , though.” i found myself pouting as jean snickered behind me , “it’s true that eren had some trouble getting comfortable with the rig , but he tries harder than anyone.”

i assert , and armin hums in agreement with me.

“what’s so special about jaeger anyway. . . ?” he mumbled under her breath , side-stepping me as he passed me ; i glanced back at marco , who just shrugs and apologizes for his friend’s actions.

we eventually reached the simulation rigs , being joined by eren and ackermann shortly thereafter ; i glanced at them , trying to gauge how he felt based on his facial expression.

with a sigh , i turned away from him when my group was called.

the final evaluation mostly went off without a hitch.

that is , until it was eren’s turn to use the rig.

although i wouldn’t like to admit it , i was nervous upon hearing eren’s name being called. i found myself drifting toward ackermann , as we both shared the same worry at that moment.

i tensed more and more–my muscles getting tighter and tighter as eren was lifted up in his harness. my fellow comrades seemed to feel the tension as well , leaving the entire field engulfed in silence.

my body stilled as eren had been lifted up completely ; his body shifted and flinched but he didn’t fall–some of my comrades began celebrating , and eren remained focused on maintaining his balance.

i pressed my lips together , watching as he struggled ; he’s made incredible strides , but with that kind of balance. . .

my thoughts would be confirmed when everyone all that were cheering eren on changed their tunes rather quickly when he fell over ; their whoops and hollers fading into gasps and whispers.

eren’s resolve was unwavering , glancing at shadis as he begs for another chance , “no. . .no–i can still-. . .”

shadis takes a look at the brunette , “bring him down.” is all he says , “yes sir!” the cadet complies.

is it over? i recall thinking.

by the time eren sat up to look at shadis once more , “i–. . .i can still. . .” he looked utterly mortified.

“thomas! give jaeger your belt.” “yes sir!”

i glanced at armin , then at ackermann ; both of their expressions mirrored my own.

we watched in confusion as eren gave shadis the belt he was previously wearing , buckling himself into thomas’s instead.

we all fell silent once more as we gave our undivided attention to eren in that moment , leering as he was lifting back into the harness–i flinched , as if preparing for his inevitable toppling over.

he never did.

eren held his arms out in front of him , as he swayed back and forth ; the muscles in his torso contract beneath his tunic.

he was doing a lot of work to stay upright , but he was keeping his balance.

i turned to commander shadis as he made his prognosis , “the equipment was faulty.”

“i’ve never seen this part rust before. . .i’ll have to add it to the maintenance list.”

as shadis grumbled to himself , people gasped loudly behind me , exclaiming how amazing it was that eren managed to work with a damaged belt.

it is amazing. however , i refrained from being too eager , as i waited for commander shadis to make his decision.

“so ,” eren finally spoke , not looking up from his harness , “what’s your final decision?”

i gnawed on my bottom lip , looking up at armin as he gripped my shoulder.

“you’re good to go.” shadis sighed, “train hard!”

everyone erupted into loud cheers.

including eren , “hell yeah! i did it!” he finally glanced down at us , a determined look in his eyes , “now i can fight the titans!”

i looked at ackermann with a smile ; she nodded back. when i glanced at armin , i found that he was talking to reiner braun.

“he actually pulled it off. . .” braun chuckled , glancing in between his taller friend and the three of us.

armin nodded back , a wide smile on his face as he turned to ackermann , “he looks like he’s challenging you with his eyes!” the girl shook her head , “no.”

we all stopped and listened intently as she continued , “now that we won’t be separated. . .”

“he’s relieved.”

✧;── 🕰️ ──;✧

“you did it , eren!” i practically screamed the moment he came into my line of sight. both him and the ever-present ackermann turn to face me.

even if i had never said a word , they would’ve heard me a kilometer away ; the gear shuffled and clinked , painfully as i jogged over to the two.

ackermann tilted her head , lips curling up a tad as i beamed at her–making sure to ask how she was , to which she replied with a quiet ‘fine.’

the moment went unnoticed by me , and was very much short-lived , as eren soon brought the subject back to himself ; he let out a small giggle , patting the side of the bulk of his gear.

“i almost gave up for a second!” he smiled down at me , eyes gleaming , “thanks.”

“me? armin and ackermann are the ones that helped you practice.”

“i know that! but–just-. . .” he appeared to get flustered , trailing off as he searched for the right words , “thanks for sticking around.”

i could begin to hide the dopey grin etching itself into my countenance ,“thank you too , eren.”

“there you. . . three are!” a winded armin comes stumbling up to all of us , his gear weighing him down a substantial amount.

“armin. . .?” ackermann takes a cautious step toward the blonde , to which he shakes his head at her ; he just needed a moment to catch his breath.

“you guys must’ve been eager ; left me in the dust just now.” the three of us all spoke the same half-hearted word , “sorry.”

the next few moments were filled with excited chatter , on both my and my comrades’ part.

when commander shadis finally showed up , he was not wearing the gear like i–for some reason–expected him to be , instead he was atop a war horse.

he scans the group of cadets , stopping his apparent search when he lays eyes on me.

“[l/n]! ackermann! up front!”

“sir yes sir!”

the two of us make our way to the front of the formation , staring up at the commander as we awaited his next order. his words were instead , directed at those behind me and her , “follow them.”

ackermann and i moved to stand at the opposite side of the horse , “just watch.” i prefaced , knowing it could be chaotic if everyone tried to do it at the same time , all packed together like this.

i raised my hands above my head so that my comrades could see what i was doing. ackermann glanced at me before doing the same.

first triggers ; a mechanical whir sounds in the otherwise silent air as the wired anchors come flying from the bulk of our gear , latching into the trunks of distant trees with an audible thud.

second triggers ; the gas canister audibly tightens. i took a deep breath.

i released the triggers and immediately , i’m being dragged forward. a cacophony of wind bellowed in my ears as i struggled to keep my body upright–traveling at break-neck speed.

it was a miracle it was my feet that hit the bark and not my face. ackermann stared at me as i composed myself , “are you alright?”

“yeah ,” i pressed my lips together , letting a stifled laugh fall from them , “it’s just more powerful than i thought it’d be.”

she nods at me , and i turn back towards the edge of the treeline , where my comrades and commander were still waiting for the go-ahead.

“everyone!” i called to them ,before maneuvering to the other side of the tree and gesturing for ackermann to do the same , ”a few at a time!”

five loud thuds sounded behind us and i peeked out from behind the tree , “good job , you guys!” i then nodded in the direction of the greatest forest beyond , before reeling my wires in and anchored to a different tree.

i called for the next group and released the triggers , but i had better control this time. i glanced behind me at the growing group of cadets , then at ackermann beside me.

only going in one direction , i thought , may not be the best idea.

when my anchors snapped into place once again , i pressed my fingers down on the triggers before making the purely intuitive decision to release only the right anchor trigger.

i’m sent spinning in all directions , slamming into a stray branch ; i clutched my stomach immediately upon impact , groaning.

not ideal.

the spinning helped me build speed–and would no doubt , be useful in evading attacks–but thanks to the lack of control , i was left carefully unwrapping the metal cord from my waist as i dangled precariously from a tree.

“would you look at that?” i jumped at the sound of boy’s voice , looking up to find springer.

as he was leering down at me , i opened my mouth to ask ‘what?’ but he continued , “is little miss perfect struggling with her gear , huh?”

i went back to untangling myself with a snort, “i was just testing something.”

“oh really?” he tilted his head at me , “then you wouldn’t mind a friendly little race , would you?”

i huffed , pondering it for a moment. by the time i was done thinking , i had already finished freeing myself from the wire.

i stood up , shooting him a challenging glare ,“i wouldn’t mind at all , actually.”

“great , the edge of the woods is the finish line.”

without another word , or countdown , springer had started the race–and effectively gave himself a head start

instead of abandoning the spinning technique , i decided to try it once more.

i released the left triggers , this time retracting my anchors as soon as i started spinning , directing my position with a burst of gas before releasing my right triggers.

it only took me repeating this two times before i caught up with him , and three more before i was ahead of him ; i cackled as my comrade complained behind me.

he was close enough to reach out and grab me , but with the finish line so close , there was no way he could’ve won ; he realized that , so he didn’t let me win either.

he waited until i wasn’t anchored to anything and grabbed my ankle , and i didn’t realize he had practically tackled me until i hit the ground with a thud.

sharp pain shoots up my arm on impact , and springer–who was clearly tickled–stopped laughing the moment he heard me scream , “bastard!”

even now , it’s unclear if i was cursing at springer or the very blades of grass i was laying on but either way , you connie got off of me right after hearing this.

i sit up , staring at him as he stared back , slack jawed. as soon as i began to stutter out an apology , springer started laughing again.

i go silent , refusing eye contact as springer laughs at me ; he breaks his laughter as he forces out a few words , “you might be hot stuff after all , [y/n].”

i tensed , processing what he said for a moment before smiling down at my lap , still not making eye contact , “thanks. . .”

“connie.”

✧;── 🕰️ ──;✧

the next day , we had officially finished our basic training , with our very last sparring match taking place that morning. the cheers and hollers of my friends and comrades filled my ears as everyone filed into the mess hall for our mid-day meal.

eren was by far , the loudest ; he was still going on about how he was happy to be done with training by the time i sat down with my tray.

“you do realize we’ll have to train even harder after this , right?” armin inquired , a puzzled smile on his face ; i quickly answered before eren could , “--you have to celebrate your victories when you can , y’know?”

ackermann spoke up , leaning over the table to look at me , “would your recent lack of nosebleeds constitute as a victory?”

i pressed my lips together , “oh. . .i guess it would , yeah.” eren chuckled , arching an eyebrow at me ,“haven’t you noticed?” i nod , “i have noticed , i just didn’t want to jinx it.”

armin smiled , “i didn’t take you for a superstitious person.” and i only shrugged.

the four of us sat in silence for a moment , and before i could change the topic of discussion , a stern , loud voice sounds from the entrance of the mess hall

“[y/n] [l/n]!” i flinched , looking up to find a drill sergeant ; i stood up , “yes sir?” “you have a visitor.”

i sighed , and my shoulders relaxed. i glanced at my friends , mumbling that i’d ‘be right back’ before heading outside.

to my “surprise” , the visitor was my brother ; leaning against the wall with his arms crossed , that same annoyed expression on his face.

i took stock of his visible injuries : none.

something had changed , though

“your hair’s different.” i observed , getting [b/n]’s attention.

he turned to me ,“yeah , it’ll be easier to take care of this way—you might wanna do the same. . .” as i wander closer to him , he reached out to touch my hair , “judging by this bird’s nest–” “--what do you want?” i swatted his hand away.

he stumbled back , feigning hurt , “aren’t you happy to see me? . . .you used to tackle me whenever i came back. . .”

“i am happy to see you! but , you usually don’t visit me without a reason.”

[b/n] shrugs , nodding at me , “been hearing big things about you , thought i’d come see for myself.” my eyebrows found themselves knitting together , “and not just because you wanted to see me , huh?”

“well , you’re graduating soon. . .” “i wanted to talk to you.”

i tilted my head , moving to go lean beside him ; my brother then rested the side of his head against the wall , taking in a labored breath , “i don’t-. . .” he turned to me , “--we’ve never been sure of anything in our lives,”

“people just die.” my stomach dropped , taken aback by the sudden shift in mood “what are you talking about–” “--we just act on instinct in hopes everyone we love will make it out alive–but the truth is , we’ll never know the answer.”

“[b/n] , what happened?” my voice was stern but he didn’t appear to hear me at all , patting my shoulder as he finished what he was saying. “take care of your friends.”

with that , he walked away. as i was prepared to go after him , someone tapped my shoulder.

i was frustrated , but turned around nonetheless ; “oh , hello kirstein” the boy nods at me , a nervous look on his face

“can i talk to you for a second?”

↳ ❝ [tags] ¡! ❞

@y-yinyang , @cafesho , @blackdxggr , @bambam1sa

[momtaku]

Do you know if there'll ever be another Snk Positivity Week? I feel like now that the manga's over, this would be a great time to have at least one more, especially with all the intense division going on at the moment.

Not that I've heard, but I haven't exactly reached out to anyone about it either. Looking at the list of people who've cohosted those events in the past, I don't think many of them are still on tumblr or else they've moved on to other fandoms.

I'm not opposed to the idea but I know for a fact I don't have it in me to organize and run another event. But if anyone else feels especially motivated, I'd be happy to lend whatever support or insight I can, including access to the tumblr blog.

Thanks for the ask!

[super-peace-fangirl]

Happy Birthday to the loveliest captain in the world

[hanjiist]

Essential Hanji Zoe Appreciation

Hanji Zoe has had such a hard time since she’s the new commander.

She derserves so much better. So much love. So much recognition. Because she is awesome. Period. And a great mom to so many of the 104th.

And she has brought so much to the series in terms of inventions and strategic decisions.

She has always fought for justice and truth: these are some of the characters she convinced that this world was worth fighting for.

We need to see that smile more often.

[nakamatoo]

SNK Positivity week-Day 4:

Ship Positivity Day. Ereannie/Ereani

[snkpositivityweek]

Announcing SNK Positivity Week 2019

Attack on Titan first appeared in Kodansha's Bessatsu Shōnen Magazine on September 9, 2009. That means in September 2019,  Attack on Titan will turn 10 years old. To commemorate this milestone, we’d like to celebrate each other and the story we love with our 2019 SNK Positivity Week event. We’re in the planning stages now, so if you’d like to help, here’s how:

1. If you participated last year, we’d like your thoughts on what worked, what didn’t, and any suggestions you might have.

2. If you have ideas for 2019 prompts, we’re listening. 2018 prompts can be found here. 

3. Our last event was organized with the help of more than 20 individuals from diverse ship and character communities. If you’d like to join the team to help plan and organize the 2019 event, please let us know. 

We hope you’ll join us in spreading love and positivity in our beloved fandom September 9th-15th!

[makiema]

Snk Positivity Week

Day 2 : Favourite moments

This is a personal list of top 10 most wholesome moments in the series (bc it is personal expect it to be a little ship biased ;D)

1. The squad reaching the ocean 

2. Levi’s word of advice (Incidentally the quote that I live by)

3. Levi’s rare smile + Historia performing the dare

4. Eren reassuring Mikasa and activating the Coordinate

5. Zeke hearing what he always wanted to hear from Grisha

6. The adorable hair ruffling 

7. Levi remembering the first time he met Eren + standing up for him

8. Eren + the rest of Levi squad 2.0 blushing

9. Eren passing on Levi’s advice ( and Levi listening to that 🥺)

10. The last hug before Sasha’s death

[theflowertitan]

If there’s one Character that I really came to love and treasure, it’s Porco Galliard.

Chapter 119 was heartbreaking but it’s one of my all time favorite chapters because of Porco’s development as a character at the end.

He’s a real hero and a soft soul at the end and he will always be one of the best characters in this show.

[aot-snk-4238]

Snk Character Positivity: Armin Arlert

So now that it's Snk Positivity Week again, I thought I'd share some thoughts on Armin that I'd been wanting to share for a while, but never got around to because I'm not outstanding when it comes to writing, but here goes nothing.

My friend who introduced me to Attack On Titan loved Armin. He was her favorite character and it didn't take long for him to become one of my favorites as well when I first started watching the anime. He had a lot of consistent self-doubt in the beginning that caused other fans to be annoyed and dislike him, which I understood, but I wasn't ready to judge him just yet. I'm the kind of person who likes to give others a fair chance before making assumptions that might not be true. In fact, in my experience with stories, characters that start out weak tend to get some of the most development over the course of the story and it's really fun to see, so I was excited to see how things would go with Armin. Unfortunately, characters who aren't big and badass from the start like Levi also receive premature judgement sometimes. Not that I'm surprised, though. People love characters that are attractive, strong, and feared by their enemies. Take Daryl from The Walking Dead, for example. Everyone loves a good fighter, and I certainly do too. But it's only fair that I leave room for other characters as well. With all that being said, let me explain why I have a particularly soft spot for Armin Arlert...

Armin is not a kickass fighter with super strength. He's not physically strong like many of his peers. He's even a little short for a boy his age. Armin is the kind of boy who doesn't get enough representation in fiction or the real world. In our society full of gender roles, some common expectations of men are that they be tall, muscular men who are fearless and never cry. Armin is unique by not meeting all of this criteria. It's what makes him feel more real. More human. Armin is short, petite, has a soft face, and just overall takes on a more feminine appearance. He is sensitive, kind, humble, polite, and most of all, he is highly intelligent. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and for Armin, his biggest strength is his mind. Thanks to that, he has been able to save his friends several times over. You know who else I'm reminded of who contains many of these qualities as well? Hermione Granger. In the Harry Potter series, just like Armin relies on brains over braun, so does Hermione. She too is not your typical heroine who has the perfect looks and can kick anybody's ass whenever she wants. Both characters are brave, caring, compassionate, and their ability to out-think their opponents have been consistent keys to safety and victory for their loved ones throughout their respective stories. I will always appreciate the diversity that they bring to fictional characters in a hero's tale. So Armin, thank you for being a representation for what a real man should be. Humble, caring, and open-minded. And thank you to whoever read this. I feel like I could have said more, but I don't want this post to be late and I'm not a pro at writing meta, so hopefully I managed to get my point across. Happy SNK Positivity Week!

Bonus: My favorite illustration of Armin. 👇❤

[fumi-faust]

Ship Positivity: Jeanmarco

Okay so, words cannot describe how much this ship means to me. It is my absolute OTP if I ever had one. I’m just in love their dynamic. Marco balances out Jean’s hot hotheadedness, holding him back when he needs to, building him up when he’s down. Marco isn’t afraid to call Jean out on his shit and sometimes tells him to just chill. I love broody characters with amazing friends, it’s totally my jam. 

What I think is even more amazing though is the greatness to come out of the jeanmarco fandom. There have been so many amazing fan works of these two idiots in love, and I’m just so grateful to be a part of this fandom. I’m talking novel length fics and absolutely beautiful illustrations. And for the most part, everyone in the fandom is amazing and there’s just so much love to go around. I could watch these two fall in love for the rest of my life, and honestly, that’s the dream. 

[captain-redchar]

Hello Captain! Guess what? Happy snk positivity week!!!!!! Just passing by to tell you how much I love your art and the content you share with us!! The boys are always so so cute when you draw them and your art is always so inspiring, full of emotions~! Thank you so much for your hard work, I know Snk isn't the easiest fandom where to be but your presence brings it a lot of positivity, especially in my dashboard! Thank you again and I wish you a wonderful week~!

oh anon! (•ﾟдﾟ•) why me? i’m the black sheep of this fandom XD  you are so cute! I really appreciate your message, thank you so much!! (*´∀`*)❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤

[soapy0-0]

Happy Snk Positivity week!! :D You were one of the first fanfic writers I started having an interest in once I joined the snk and ereri fandom and I’m happy to say that a year later I’m still very excited every time you post something new! You are an amazing writer ❤❤

Well there you go making me cry again...

Thank you so much. I've been feeling so inadequate with my writing and myself lately, so you have no idea how much I needed to hear that.

You seem like such a sweet person, I'm happy to (somewhat) know you 💜💜

Also, you're a fantastic writer too! A gift, honestly 😘

[momtaku]

Heeeeey Mom :) You'll never EVER guess who this in a million billion years, but I just wanna let you know.. Not only have you been an amazing role model and part of this fandom, you've also been an incredible friend to me personally, and our shared friends as well. I appreciate you SO much more than I could ever say in a silly anon ask. I love your theories, even the ones we don't agree on, and I love talking to you so so much. I hope I get to be your friend for much longer :) #snkpositivityweek

You’re right that I can’t guess who... because I suck at guessing games but THANK YOU for this lovely message and hopefully I’ve let you know recently in return how much I cherish you as well.  I’m glad we’re friends, whoever you are, because you seem like the exact sort of person I’d adore. Thanks again for these kind words! I hope your day is amazing and I also hope we stay friends for this series and beyond 💖